Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High Kerry Patterson Joseph Grenny Ron McMillan Al Switzler Stephen R Covey 9780071401944 Books
Download As PDF : Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High Kerry Patterson Joseph Grenny Ron McMillan Al Switzler Stephen R Covey 9780071401944 Books
Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High Kerry Patterson Joseph Grenny Ron McMillan Al Switzler Stephen R Covey 9780071401944 Books
Interesting read. Well written with a fair amount of useful information for those in management or leadership roles.Tags : Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High [Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler, Stephen R. Covey] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Learn how to keep your cool and get the results you want when emotions flare. When stakes are high,Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler, Stephen R. Covey,Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High,McGraw-Hill,0071401946,Interpersonal communication.,Interpersonal relations.,Conversation,Business & Economics Business Communication General,Business & Economics Negotiating,Business Communication - General,Communication Studies,Interpersonal Communication,Interpersonal Relations,Office & workplace,Psychology,Psychology Interpersonal Relations,FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS Interpersonal Relations,Communication,Self-Help,Popular Psychology
Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High Kerry Patterson Joseph Grenny Ron McMillan Al Switzler Stephen R Covey 9780071401944 Books Reviews
I struggle with communicating effectively. As I considered my professional development plan for the year, I knew this was an area I wanted to focus on. I learned about Crucial Conversations from SHRM and decided to make it a first step. I'm glad I did.
The book is chock full of good ideas on ways to communicate more effectively when it really counts. The authors provide great tips to illustrate the principles and make them real. There are no shockers here. Everything is pretty common sense and yet, it took this book for me to put them together.
I have already used the principles I learned in the book in crucial conversations both at home and work. I've certainly not mastered the art yet, but I do feel more prepared and a bit less anxious in these high impact situations. I look forward to continuing to practice and improve over time.
If your life requires that you interact with others, this book is for you!
I ordered this book because it seemed useful and I could see one of my friends behaving differently. I bought this in mind that a big storm was coming. I have made mistakes during emotionally charged conversations/arguments before and didn't want to go down the same path again. Not too soon after I purchased it, that friend brought the storm.
I took my time to read this and skim over it again before I entered the conversation because I didn't want to go in feeling attacked, defensive, or angry. I wanted to know how I could handle things. I didn't want to talk and head into a storm in the first place, but reading this book helped me feel less apprehensive about talking. I didn't want to go in ready to fight, I took my time talking on my own terms because I didn't want to lose my friend while feeling hot-headed. I explained my intentions on why I took long to not give off the impression that I didn't care.
The book took me about 6 hours to read but I didn't really count. I flagged many pages to the point when I almost ran out of flags. There were very few parts I skipped towards the end (of examples/possible scenarios that I didn't think related to me), but most of the book seemed very relevant. The many examples helped. I think as a reader it helps to take written/typed notes of your own as you go, but I did not take much (I will though).
When I felt I was ready to talk, I went in. I tried utilizing what I remembered. I did look at the smaller details to address them and tried not playing "trivia pursuit" on things that that were brought up. I got more of my friend's perspective. After we talked about our concerns, we found our misunderstandings and similarities regarding situations, as well as our viewpoints on both. I also brought up some possible agreements on how to avoid disrespecting each other in the future and if we did, the topic is left open so we can revisit our misunderstandings or perspectives again without making an ultimatum and to communicate more healthily if we think something is off between us. I didn't want to just get things off our chest, I wanted to make it easier for us to communicate in a similar manner (finding solutions) in the future. I wouldn't have gotten to this point if it weren't for this book. I honestly was prepared to lose a friend and in that scenario, none of us wins because we learned nothing about ourselves and others, we only saw our own viewpoints. By the end of our conversation, my friend seemed satisfied. We both have our similarities, though we handled things differently, this book played a part in bringing things up to light and how to go about it.
There are other things I am going to work on tackling, such as things in the workplace and not in my personal life and hope it turns out okay for everyone too.
I only read this once and skimmed it once after that, yet it helped me get this far. I really recommend this book to anyone who wants to get better at such conversations and arguments. It's worth rereading, not a read-once-and-drop-it kind of book.
Excellent! One of the most life-changing books I've ever read (and I'm a voracious reader). What you'll learn in this book applies to your personal and professional life. As a woman, I wish I would have read this book years ago. I would have been better prepared to ask for promotions and been a better listener as a mother. I've purchased 7 books as gifts for college-aged kids. I wish I would have known about this book years ago. It's a book that you can re-read many times and still gain tips to help you through crucial conversations.
Conversations move life forward. They can also stop things from moving forward. Relationships end on conversations and begin. Teams are formed and broken apart. Goals are made, expectations laid out, visions happen, all around conversations.
Feelings get hurt in conversations, lies are told, deception, betrayal, all of these can happen in conversations.
Enter the book Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High. I heard Joseph Grenny, one of the authors speak on this topic recently at the leadership summit and got a lot out of his session.
All of us know the feeling of this kind of conversation and we know that this is where life changes.
Here are 10 things I got from the book that I have found helpful in my life and leadership
1. When we face crucial conversations, we can do one of three things We can avoid them, We can face them and handle them poorly, or We can face them and handle them well. At the heart of almost all chronic problems in our organizations, our teams, and our relationships lie crucial conversations—ones that we’re either not holding or not holding well. Christians and church staffs are notorious for avoiding crucial conversations. This is why churches often split, people leave hurt and visions never move forward. Instead of doing the hard work in a conversation, they are avoided. When in reality, because of what is at stake (salvation) and because of the calling of Jesus, we should do a better job of having crucial conversations.
2. Individuals who are the most influential—who can get things done and at the same time build on relationships—are those who master their crucial conversations. We all know this to be true. If you aren't very good at dialogue, you sit back in wonder at those who are. They are able to gain more influence, get more done and people want to be on their team and a part of what they are doing. This is why raising the value of this skill and getting better at it matters so much. Things move forward or stop around conversations.
3. The mistake most of us make in our crucial conversations is we believe that we have to choose between telling the truth and keeping a friend. Grenny said this at the summit and it grabbed my attention. This is one of, if not the main reason, most conversations stop and things do not move forward. Fear. Fear of a relationship ending, something stopping, getting fired or hurting someone. Yet, if we don't tell the truth, we often can't be a friend.
4. People rarely become defensive simply because of what you’re saying. They only become defensive when they no longer feel safe. The problem is not the content of your message, but the condition of the conversation. If you are a boss and want honest feedback and conversation, people can't fear for their jobs or that you will yell at them. Recently, there has been a lot of writing online about pastors abusing people, creating a culture of fear, yelling at staff members, elders and volunteers and it blows my mind. If you are known for that as a pastor, you should be embarrassed.
5. Be careful not to apologize for your views. This can be easy to do and it often happens as a way to soften your opinion or the blow in a conversation, but you shouldn't apologize for what you think. It is what you think. It might be hard or unpopular to say, but don't shy away from it. You may be wise to change how you phrase it, but always be willing to share what you think in a conversation.
6. One of the ironies of dialogue is that, when talking with those holding opposing opinions, the more convinced and forceful you act, the more resistant others become. I done this very easily in the past. Yet, this practice keeps people from buying in and helping to make something happen. When we do this, we don't understand why people aren't on board. The reason is the harder we push our way, the harder they push their way.
7. Speaking in absolute and overstated terms does not increase your influence, it decreases it. The converse is also true—the more tentatively you speak, the more open people become to your opinions. The more harshly we speak or the more we give the impression that there is only one way, the less likely it becomes that people will speak up. Now, on issues like vision, it must be clear and have agreement. But, in conversations, if we give the impression that something has been decided or that we aren't open to suggestions, we will kill discussion.
8. When we feel the need to push our ideas on others, it’s generally because we believe we’re right and everyone else is wrong. This is another way the previous one. If you find yourself pushing your ideas, you aren't having a good dialogue and instead are simply giving out orders. That may be your leadership style, but it won't accomplish a healthy team environment and in the end, your church or business will never reach its full potential.
9. The more you care about an issue, the less likely you are to be on your best behavior. As a leader or a person in a relationship, you must learn this well. This was an eye opening insight for me. I get very passionate about things, as most people do, and when I do, I can shut down dialogue and end up hurting people. We do this, often unintentionally because we care about something, because we believe we are right and have the only way forward.
10. The fuzzier the expectations, the higher the likelihood of disappointment. When a crucial conversation ends, there must be clear expectations and guidance moving forward. It cannot be fuzzy or gray. Otherwise, a conversation has not ended, it is simply on pause.
All in all, this was an incredibly helpful book. Some of it covered things I already knew but showed some helpful insights. I've already seen a change in some of my conversations with leaders at my church and in my family through this book. Definitely one I'd recommend.
Interesting read. Well written with a fair amount of useful information for those in management or leadership roles.
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